Earlier today, I reread an essay I had written earlier this summer called, “If I Were in Israel” that depicts the feelings of fidelity I had (still do) about living on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. (I intend to give my ESL (English as a Second Language) adult students this essay as a pilot to gauge their reading proficiency and understanding.))
About halfway through I thought to myself, Damn! This is good. This is really freakin’ good! (When was the last time I actually thought that?)
It was vulnerable. Authentic. Raw. Personal. Emotional. Everything I am.
The situation itself was painful. And yet, I couldn’t just write, “I’m saddened. I’m deliriously upset. I’m homesick for my “other country.”
The Reflective Power of Pain Stories
By writing these “pain stories,” I acknowledged the need to write and reflect from this place.
The topic reminded me of everything I thought I had lost leaving another country for the sake of a new and “foreign” one, but by allowing myself to write about it, I became more patient, understanding and perceptive.
I would write, tell the story and reflect. Write, tell the story and reflect. Each time I reflected, I brought out the “bottom line” and what’s at-stake.
Reflecting brought me to a deeper place where I could tell the story with more vim, clarity, courage and vulnerability. Then you know. You’ve become a better writer.
Writing from Pain: The Only Way In
Since becoming let’s say, a serious writer, I’ve come to realize that the only way I could have improved that essay and all the other pieces I’ve worked on was from a pivotal entry point: the pain.
Writing and pain go hand in hand whether it’s physical, emotional or something else. All the great literary geniuses wrote from pain. Depressive disorder in poets the 19th century was just another way of disguising mental illness when in fact, artists and writers expressed themselves from this painful creative channel.
Activate Your Powers of Self-Reflection
You can either write about the pain or withdraw from the pain. By writing from this place, you recognize that your personal experience is the conduit between your self-growth as evident of your “emotional miles” and the reader.
What to Include
Painful experiences almost always include a mixture of memory and feelings surrounding a person or event either close or not. You may have for example, a sudden longing to see your grandmother who you were never truly close with as a child, and only now you’re realizing how much she really meant to you even though you didn’t see or recognize it at the time.
Whether you’re at the writing or revision stage, reflect on…
- the memory. How did it act as a catalyst for a present or future experience?
- the feelings. How did they help you in recognizing the truth or that ugly reality.
These are just connecting points. The truth is just let yourself write. See what happens as you go deeper into memory. That’s where the painful truth waits for a chance to be expressed.
Reflection always brings you closer to the truth. Your story truth. You can’t help but become a better writer because you’re finally (!) expressing that “I-don’t-know-what-the-heck-I’m feeling, but-this-sure-is-painful” thingie.
The question is… are you allowing yourself to “go there?”
I challenge you…are you up for it?
What would take you to write authentically?
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